Monday 18 November 2013

Finding Destiny

Last week the annual fair came to town and I prepared myself to face the usual begging techniques from Meg as she tried to persuade me that she was big enough to go on every single ride there was.  I was laughing with a friend about allowing Meg to go on the bigger fairground rides and how I couldn't shake the fear that they were constructed in less than a day and so how on earth could they be safe?  'Thank God I know my child has a destiny!' I remarked, laughing merrily.

Several days later I found myself clinging on for dear life (never mind the two super strong carabiners holding me in place) on a platform, a significant distance above the ground, battling wave after wave of nausea, frantically trying to batten down the hatches in the part of my brain which was screaming out that I could plunge to my demise with one wrong step.  To make matters worse the wind had picked up and I was really not sure I could carry on.

Then a voice, gently said to me, '...and what about your destiny?'

I'm a big one for God speaking to me visually, as those who read Finding Life might already know.  I think I have so many thoughts bouncing around competing for space in my brain that it's only when I'm faced with something right in front of me that I stop and listen to what God is saying.  Nobody's perfect, right?

Anyway, back to the platform in the beautiful forest and blustery wind.

Right at that moment, Holy Spirit was there with me, asking, prompting and reassuring.

'The God who made the trees and this very wind you are afraid of.  The God who chose you, hand-crafted you and watches over you.  What does HE say your destiny is?'

I find myself at the moment, well for the past few years really, downplaying myself and my abilities.  Dismissing dreams and ideas as useless, selfish or unimportant.  Wanting so very much to make a difference but at a loss as to how I can achieve that when the dreams that I have seem so lofty and out of my grasp.

Recently, a fellow blogger felt inspired to gather together some Christian female bloggers based in the UK and start a group where we could be open and share with each other.  Out of that has come an idea to have a collective blog or linky where we can join together to form a network of UK Christian women bloggers.  I am so excited by the potential this has and haven't been able to stop thinking it over since the idea was first suggested.  It feels very timely and very right.

Writing is one of the dreams I always carried but had dismissed after having children and settling down, thinking that my time had passed and I wouldn't be able to find the time to write alongside everything else I was doing.  In September, stepping out and following God's call on my life saw me leaving my job as an Office Administrator and becoming a full time writer.  Since then I have seen so many doors opened, it has been almost unbelievable.  Almost.

I am confident that this is another step in the right direction, this network of women who can share the gospel and evangelise using the power of the written word.  By being honest and real, and us.  Each woman in the group has a different story to tell, a different experience and collectively this is going to result in something amazing.

'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.' Ecclesiastes 3:1

I feel challenged at this moment to acknowledge that I have an amazing and God-given destiny and that no matter how hard the wind might blow, whether I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingertips or whether stepping forwards is as easy as stepping off the platform to come down that last zip-wire, full of joy and relief...however it feels, I can't pretend that God hasn't placed a specific call on my life.  He has.  I'm not sure exactly what that looks like but I believe that this is my time to find my destiny...and although it's exciting and terrifying in equal parts, it's going to be amazing.

One of my favourite books in the bible is Esther.  Some time ago I received a word from God which said I was called to be an Esther in my generation.  I have never known what that meant exactly, I still don't know but I have always held it close to my heart, waiting.  Maybe now is the time?

'For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise from another place...and who knows but that you have come to the position for such a time as this.' Esther 4:14

How is God challenging you at the moment?

5 comments:

  1. Absolutely Jess! I feel so excited by this 'opportunity' as well. It's something that has been on my heart for a while and just last week, I was very frustrated at the lack of UK forums for Christian bloggers. I think that writing is my way to evangelise - let's use our collective voice for good! Now who's going to start this thing?!

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  2. I too am so pleased the group has been set up. It means i get to read inspirational things like this, thank you for this post this has been a great encouragement to me today...especially the verse from esther xxxx

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  3. Ohh I got shivers reading this post Jess, I did not realise you had stopped work to write full-time, big well done. This venture and we are abut to take will be amazing. Mich x

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  4. great post Jess. I often find it easier to believe that my kids have a God-given destiny rather than me myself. I think you are spot on about how each person has different stories to tell and different experiences and just how powerful that will be collectively xxx

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  5. Beautiful and inspiring post; thank you. I have no doubt that you're here, doing this, right now because that's exactly where God wants you. Communicating and encouraging and pointing to Him... for such a time as this indeed.
    So exciting to be joining you on the new FB venture. Very much looking forward to getting to know people. :-)

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