Last week the annual fair came to town and I prepared myself to face the usual begging techniques from Meg as she tried to persuade me that she was big enough to go on every single ride there was. I was laughing with a friend about allowing Meg to go on the bigger fairground rides and how I couldn't shake the fear that they were constructed in less than a day and so how on earth could they be safe? 'Thank God I know my child has a destiny!' I remarked, laughing merrily.
Several days later I found myself clinging on for dear life (never mind the two super strong carabiners holding me in place) on a platform, a significant distance above the ground, battling wave after wave of nausea, frantically trying to batten down the hatches in the part of my brain which was screaming out that I could plunge to my demise with one wrong step. To make matters worse the wind had picked up and I was really not sure I could carry on.
Then a voice, gently said to me, '...and what about your destiny?'
I'm a big one for God speaking to me visually, as those who read Finding Life might already know. I think I have so many thoughts bouncing around competing for space in my brain that it's only when I'm faced with something right in front of me that I stop and listen to what God is saying. Nobody's perfect, right?
Anyway, back to the platform in the beautiful forest and blustery wind.
Right at that moment, Holy Spirit was there with me, asking, prompting and reassuring.
'The God who made the trees and this very wind you are afraid of. The God who chose you, hand-crafted you and watches over you. What does HE say your destiny is?'
I find myself at the moment, well for the past few years really, downplaying myself and my abilities. Dismissing dreams and ideas as useless, selfish or unimportant. Wanting so very much to make a difference but at a loss as to how I can achieve that when the dreams that I have seem so lofty and out of my grasp.
Recently, a fellow blogger felt inspired to gather together some Christian female bloggers based in the UK and start a group where we could be open and share with each other. Out of that has come an idea to have a collective blog or linky where we can join together to form a network of UK Christian women bloggers. I am so excited by the potential this has and haven't been able to stop thinking it over since the idea was first suggested. It feels very timely and very right.
Writing is one of the dreams I always carried but had dismissed after having children and settling down, thinking that my time had passed and I wouldn't be able to find the time to write alongside everything else I was doing. In September, stepping out and following God's call on my life saw me leaving my job as an Office Administrator and becoming a full time writer. Since then I have seen so many doors opened, it has been almost unbelievable. Almost.
I am confident that this is another step in the right direction, this network of women who can share the gospel and evangelise using the power of the written word. By being honest and real, and us. Each woman in the group has a different story to tell, a different experience and collectively this is going to result in something amazing.
'There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.' Ecclesiastes 3:1
I feel challenged at this moment to acknowledge that I have an amazing and God-given destiny and that no matter how hard the wind might blow, whether I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingertips or whether stepping forwards is as easy as stepping off the platform to come down that last zip-wire, full of joy and relief...however it feels, I can't pretend that God hasn't placed a specific call on my life. He has. I'm not sure exactly what that looks like but I believe that this is my time to find my destiny...and although it's exciting and terrifying in equal parts, it's going to be amazing.
One of my favourite books in the bible is Esther. Some time ago I received a word from God which said I was called to be an Esther in my generation. I have never known what that meant exactly, I still don't know but I have always held it close to my heart, waiting. Maybe now is the time?
'For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise from another place...and who knows but that you have come to the position for such a time as this.' Esther 4:14
How is God challenging you at the moment?
Monday 18 November 2013
Monday 4 November 2013
Finding Life
I had been having a terrible week, you know the kind of week where everything you touch seems to shrivel and die. It made me want to curl up under my duvet and not rear my head for about a decade, I was just so fed up. I'm quite an emotional person and it takes a lot of conscious effort for me to not be ruled by how I'm feeling. When carrying out daily activities is hard work then I know I'm about at the point where I've had enough.
So, I was having one of those weeks. I'd just got off the phone to my husband telling him the latest things which had turned belly up for us and I went outside into the garden to get some fresh air.
Over the summer I had planted various things and tried to grow them, without success. I am not green fingered in the slightest and at the moment my garden bears witness to this. It looks kind of like a plant graveyard actually, with black and wizened strawberry plants and flowers and things littered around. One of the things I had tried my hand at was a tomato plant. I had successfully got the plant part to grow but it hadn't produced any kind of fruit before it too had succumbed and died.
I was wandering around the garden feeling sorry for myself when I noticed a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. I headed over to the plant pot and there, hanging off a very dead looking stem was a bright red tomato. I couldn't believe it, how on earth had the tomato managed to grow when everything around it was dead and dying?
God spoke to me as I was standing there in wonder looking at this tomato and trying to prevent the dog from eating it. He reminded me that He is the restorer, He takes what is broken and makes it like new. Even in the darkest of places, the bleakest of circumstances, when everything around you feels rotten and destroyed and broken, He can call forth life. Not just any life either, but a life of abundance and of freedom.
Sometimes we are going to have a bad week. But God doesn't stop being amazing.
Sometimes we are going to feel like we've reached our limit and had enough. But God doesn't stop calling us forwards into the life He has destined for us.
Sometimes we are going to cry out in despair, wondering how anything else could possibly go wrong. Call out to God and He will come and wrap his loving and protective arms around you, carry you and guide you.
God is a God of light and life and love.
If you are feeling fed up just remember that God can revitalise and refresh you, He can bring you back to a place of enjoying life even if you can't see it! Take some time to stop and reflect, to remember and regenerate. Then pick yourself up and move forwards with God.
He is the Giver of Life.
'In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.' John 1 v 4-5
and my favourite version of all - The Message, how awesome is this:
'What came into existence was Life, and The Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out.' John 1 v 4-5
So, I was having one of those weeks. I'd just got off the phone to my husband telling him the latest things which had turned belly up for us and I went outside into the garden to get some fresh air.
Over the summer I had planted various things and tried to grow them, without success. I am not green fingered in the slightest and at the moment my garden bears witness to this. It looks kind of like a plant graveyard actually, with black and wizened strawberry plants and flowers and things littered around. One of the things I had tried my hand at was a tomato plant. I had successfully got the plant part to grow but it hadn't produced any kind of fruit before it too had succumbed and died.
I was wandering around the garden feeling sorry for myself when I noticed a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. I headed over to the plant pot and there, hanging off a very dead looking stem was a bright red tomato. I couldn't believe it, how on earth had the tomato managed to grow when everything around it was dead and dying?
God spoke to me as I was standing there in wonder looking at this tomato and trying to prevent the dog from eating it. He reminded me that He is the restorer, He takes what is broken and makes it like new. Even in the darkest of places, the bleakest of circumstances, when everything around you feels rotten and destroyed and broken, He can call forth life. Not just any life either, but a life of abundance and of freedom.
Sometimes we are going to have a bad week. But God doesn't stop being amazing.
Sometimes we are going to feel like we've reached our limit and had enough. But God doesn't stop calling us forwards into the life He has destined for us.
Sometimes we are going to cry out in despair, wondering how anything else could possibly go wrong. Call out to God and He will come and wrap his loving and protective arms around you, carry you and guide you.
God is a God of light and life and love.
If you are feeling fed up just remember that God can revitalise and refresh you, He can bring you back to a place of enjoying life even if you can't see it! Take some time to stop and reflect, to remember and regenerate. Then pick yourself up and move forwards with God.
He is the Giver of Life.
'In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.' John 1 v 4-5
and my favourite version of all - The Message, how awesome is this:
'What came into existence was Life, and The Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out.' John 1 v 4-5
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